Fuck it dude, lets go bowling! That seems to be my answer to all of the problems of life anymore. St. Patrick's Day is always a strange time of year for me, it's almost like my new years because I remember what I do on this day very well and always find myself comparing the me of now to the me of 1, 2, or 3 years ago.
I canceled my trip out west, it's just not the right time for that. I'm trying to be selfless, and a few of my friends are doing really well despite the economy and everything else going on, and I feel very good for them. If it I dwell on it for too long though I start to think of myself and twist and warp into selfish thinking about when am I going to strike gold again. Sometimes I wish I could permanently remove some of the thoughts that wonder into my head. Maybe Chicago isn't the answer for me, or maybe it's just the lock to the key that opens the door to my answer.
I connect more and more with the wanderers of life. Maybe my problem is I'm trying to settle down, but I'm just not the person to do that. When I was depressed last year it was for the same reason, but I wasn't settled down in Chicago I was stuck up in northern Michigan. Maybe location isn't the answer, but the process of living. I'm thinking about taking a trip up north it could help me alleviate some thoughts and feelings about things. I wish I had a travel companion. I've always wanted to go to Tangiers and India and all these mystique places, but I don't want to go there alone. It might be time to give up the single life for at least a while and test the waters not dared spoken of. I don't know if I'm ready for that, but I do love a great adventure and even better a great challenge.
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