Constant Reinvention

I've been pondering lately what direction in life I want to go in. I had been hellbent for sometime about relocating to Chicago, but now I'm not as hellbent now as I once was. Changes can be hard to decide because you don't know what the outcome will be. I'm always trying to put myself in a situation to better myself, and I'm not totally sure what direction to go in.

A large problem I have is being a musician. Playing music is the greatest and sometimes also the worst thing that's ever happened to me. Like so many other people my age I wish I could just go get a job and be happy or go off to grad school and be happy, but I wouldn't. I want to do something with my life that involves music. I want to make people happy. I want to creatively inspire people. I've been posting some songs on my myspace page recently and the feedback I've gotten has been phenomenal. It's really encouraged me to maybe stick my neck out a little more than I normally would as far as taking my music more seriously.

I think my musical career is ready for another change in its constant reinvention. I'm a believer that once you somewhat master something and get a grasp of what you're doing then it's time to move on and try something new and different. I've been playing in rock bands for almost 8 years and I love rock music, but I often find myself thinking about well what if I was doing this with music instead. I want to maybe explore jazz and/or electronic music more. I use to play with a hybrid drum set featuring both electronic and acoustic drums, which was my most productive writnig phase. I think it might be time to get experimental again.

Where I move will also depend on what happens with my musical reinvention. I'm tired of playing in bands and playing music that sounds like something, I want to create something new that people haven't heard before. I have to put myself in a situation where I can find and play with musicians who think the same way as me. I also want to put myself in a situation where I'll be happy outside of what I think and do with music.

Socially I'm ready for a change as well. I'm tired of smalltown Michigan. I want to meet more people like me. My social circle and influence is dwindling. I have made some new friends recently, which has also helped me open my eyes to the fact that change can be good, and change is what I need.

Below is a video I find on youtube of my favorite drummer Bill Bruford. It has a little boring introduction, but once it starts I think it's the most melodic, danceable, and most creative drum solo I've ever seen. I wish I wrote it, and this song was the main influence my song "Bill's Boogie" which is a melodic drum solo I wrote and recorded which is on my myspace page. http://www.myspace.com/williamcovert

I find this video to be a reflection of the kind of music I wish I was playing now. Where's jazz fusion musicians when I need them!

Death And All His Friends

I've been doing some thinking the last couple of days and reflecting on a lot of stuff. I've done maybe more reflecting than a 23 year old should, but oh well. So I've been in my thoughts, and I got a song lyric stuck in my head, and I don't know why. Usually I don't pay much attention to lyrics, I couldn't even tell you most of the lyrics from songs my band plays. Of all of the bands to get lyrics stuck in your head from, I can't get lyrics from a Coldplay song trapped in my skull. I use to really really really hate Coldplay, I still don't like anything they've done besides their new album Viva la Vida, which I never would have originally ever listened to if it wasn't produced by Brian Eno. But anyways, the last song on the album has a line that goes

"No, I don't want to battle from beginning to end. I don't want to cycle or recylce revenge. I don't want to follow death and all his friends...

And in the end we lie awake, and we dream of making our escape."

Those lyrics really sum up what i've been thinking about. Anytime someone dies young and unnatural it tends to make people reflect. Knowing someone that use to live a block away from me, and I went to high school with, and use to come to my house and me to his house numerous times is now dead, just makes the world seem strange. Life is fragile, and I think more fragile than we tend to realize. I was listening to this Coldplay and these came up and like it felt like synchronicity. It was just so odd that I was listening to a band I never normally listen to, and I just happened to be listening to a song dealing with death and it felt like a Jungian moment.

The other lyric about lying awake and dreaming of making escape, I related to, but for different reasons. The biggest thing I've had on my brain recently even more than death is I met someone who I like, but I don't know if the feeling is totally mutual. So I've been not sleeping much this week just thinking about the possibilities of what is my life now and what may or may never be depending on some decisions. I feel like I'm in mental waiting room, but for the chance of a positive outcome it's definitely worth the wait. I've been plotting about making my escape out of Michigan to Chicago, and now I just have to act out my dream.