Finding My Way

I got opportunity knocking on my door.
I got people giving me advice more and more.
But I just want to figure out what this life is for.

I've made a couple big decisions in the past couple of days.

I'm tired of being alone and want to be with someone.
I'm tired of people not taking me seriously.
I'm finally going to start writing the book I've been stewing over for the past two years.
I'm going to take up painting, which I've wanted to do for a while.

I've decided I'm applying to grad school for the fall semester. What I'm undecided about is whether to get my masters in History, Political Science, or Cultural Anthropology.

Right now I'm narrowing my choices down, but I'm going all out in selecting what schools I'm applying to. I got accepted in ivy league schools for undergrad, but said fuck it because I really didn't care. Now I kind of don't mind the idea of going to an ivy league type school for my masters to kind of prove it to myself that I can do it. I proved it to myself when appyling that I could get in, and at the time that was good enough for me. I've felt more overachieving lately than I have in a long time and I'm starting to miss college.

I'm starting to feel like I'm just filling in the cracks of society like most people do and accept, but I won't go without a fight. I can't give up on my hopes and dreams and just get some mondane career and just become another ant in the colony. I wish more people were empathetic or understanding of my wanting to say fuck it to much of societies norms and just find happiness in doing what I want to do.

Life sometimes seems to be a beauty contest, and I don't want to be a contestant.

I'm still torn on where to move, whether to still go with the plan on settling down in Chicago or moving to Detroit or somewhere crazier and more progressive like Portland or San Francisco. This moving decision is killing my job searching and I need to resolve that soon.